Sunday, December 20, 2009

change

everything about change makes me so irritated. when we WANT to change, it's so hard. it's hard because we have to let go of all our old habits & start making better ones. forcing yourself to change is hard work, but in the end it might be all worth it. sometimes when you DON'T even want to change, you just do. you don't even realize it until people tell you. & then you start looking back to how you USED to be & you're like " fuck I was a better person " unless you changed for the better, that would be a good thing. & why is it that the people you wish didn't change; change & the people you wish did change, don't.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

dear santa

Kissmas is almost here, finally ! I hate counting down for kissmas, it feels like forever. I would like 3 things this year. A new laptop, $$$, & lots of clothes. I wish you can make a kissmas list on things that are not tangible, & it comes to you when you want it or when you can BUY it. too bad life doesn't work that way. but anyway ! on New Years, I'm going to try & accomplish my goal of something. It may be real hard for me, but whatever, it's worth a try. This isn't middle school anymore, I need to become a better person. :D



*& to you; Miss I Think I Know Everything. Please stop talking about me. You've never been put into my shoes, & when you do, then fine, say something. Nobody forces you to be friends with someone you don't like, so why talk as if I have to be friends with someone that I don't want to be friends with ? I just tell it how it is & sometimes I shouldn't, but I don't want to keep lieing to someone & act as if everything's okay. & everyone has their own personal reasons. I'm trying to get over it & be nice, but people like you annoy the shit out of me. Instigating the situation & acting as if they know everything. *sigh.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

but I shouldn't

sometimes I wonder how I have friends, because if I wasn't me, & I look at myself, I would hate me. & when I look at you, you remind me of me, so maybe that's why I don't like you. I think you're very easily persuaded which leads to idiotic actions. & you put on a front because you're afraid of what others think about you. & you act as if you know what you're doing, but I know you don't. I may be wrong, but that's just what I'm thinking. maybe I dont " hate " you, maybe I just care about you sometimes.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

friday the 13th

I learned 3 valuable life lessons, HA

#1) never trust people completely, no matther how long you've known them
#2) don't ever be nice & try to help someone out
#3) sometimes the people you thought were worth it.. they're not, they can betray you in a heartbeat

I get it now, I GOT THIS.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

love to hate me

okay so I went to cyberzone like last Wednesday ? I don't remember, but I went inside the booth that I wrote my name in to take pictures & I see that someone crossed out my name in like orange pen & wrote Fuck You & drew 2 cows, LOL. Um okay.. first of all how OLD are you to be talking shit on a cyberzone machine. Do you like go to cyberzone to see who to talk shit to on the machines.. ? bunch of little dramaqueens. & like I think we get it that when I scrunch up my nose I get a nose that kinda looks like the cow nose, but really is that all you have on me to hurt my feelings ? if you hate me why don't you just let me know instead of talking shit on a picture machine.. I don't get it. doesn't phase me or anything, but I'mma repeat what I wrote twice already on this blog: how old are you to be talking shit on a PICTURE MACHINE ? I just wanted to make a point, yknow. koreatown & some of the people are just so pathetic sometimes. tehe.

Monday, October 19, 2009

not a hater

not much has happened for the while I haven't updated. I got a blackberry tour that I am so in love with, haha. & I went shopping, but didn't buy much things. I want to shop more, but I'm running low on CA$H, boohoo. I also have no idea what to do for halloween, but I really want to dress up & do something. I want to go to a costume party, hardyharhar. I also have been trying really hard to let go of my grudges over people. It amazes me how angry I can be at someone & start hating real easily. I wouldn't call myself a " hater " though, only because I've only been holding grudges on particular people, not the whole world. But then again if they're not my type of person, I don't HAVE to like them, right ? But there must have been something I liked. I guess it just means people change whether I like it or not. Love 'em or hate 'em.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

i don't get it

I think it's so stupid when girls/guys talk shit about a guy/girl they had a relationship with. It's stupid because if there's a chance for them to get back together again, they get back together. But I thought you hated her/him ? I thought you would never get back with her/him ? I thought you're too good for her/him ? I also think it's stupid when girls/guys think it's okay for them to cheat, flirt, hurts others, etc, but when it backfires, they get super pissed & emotional. What makes you so great to do that to others, but noone can do it to you ? Explain To Me. -o-;

Monday, August 24, 2009

just like ecstasy

everytime, & I mean everySINGLEtime, I have a good day/week, something messes it up. & it happens to be worse than the good time I had. it gets me thinking, & then my thinking gets worse & leads to depressing thoughts.
they say good things happen to those who wait. I've waited 15 long years. what happened to the sunshine that's supposed to come after the rain ?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

1life1love

you only get 1 life, so don't sit around wondering what it COULD'VE been. live for the moment. what's life without a little risk, right ? no holding back.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

wanting

to watch a cute movie & cry. the last movie I watched & cry was, Marley & Me, LOL. shyoot, I love my animals :) I really wanna watch " The Time Keeper's Wife ". Anyway, summer has been a blast so far, except the times I have to see some Bitch, meow. I've been going on like field trips & swimming a lot, yay me. I think I have too much drink all day, play all night, in my system, LOL, yfeel. Ack, 1 more month until school starts. let's play.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

hate

the most common word used by Chloe Jin. I hate this & I hate that. Maybe that's the reason why I'm such an angry person.. it probably IS the reason.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

soak up the sun

it's that time of year. school's out, summer's on. time to make random outtings with random people. time to go to 6flags & wait in the hot sun for 2hrs just to get on a 1min ride. time to get a sunburn at hurricane harbor. time to find that perfect bikini to go to the beach & jump waves. time to stay out 'till 2AM, ignoring phone calls from your family. time to complain how you want winter back. time to take millions of pictures in one day. time to go out of city, state, country. time to waste all your money on stupid shit. time to wear flowy skirts. time to put on chapstick all the time. time for bomb summer movies. the best time to get wasted & have fun ;) let's play, loves.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

leave the past behind

I can't. I'm so stuck in my past, I can't fucking move forward. I still haven't learned how to move on from things. Noone & Nothing motivates me enough to move forward. Everytime a new door opens up for me I go through it & make a U-Turn right into my past. Now I understand why people say " You're gonna miss your middle school days, it was ezpz ". & now I realized that. All I do is reminisce. I fucking miss the old days. I miss how people USED to be, how things USED to be, how everything USED to be okay. I can't seem to learn that people change & there's nothing I can do about it. I can't seem to make my present better than my past. I see everyone doing something with their lives, except me. Wtf am I doing. I don't even know how to have fun anymore. Shit happens & life doesn't go on for me.


" remember when getting high meant swinging at the playground. rhe worst thing you could get from boys were cooties. mom was your hero & dad was the boy you were going to marry. your worst enemies were your siblings. race issues were who ran the fastest. war was a card game. cough medicine was the only drug you had ever heard of. drama was a type of play. wearing skirts didn't mean you were a slut. when you said wasted you were talking about time. the only thing you smoked was the tires on your bike. the only thing that hurt was skinned knees. the only things that could get broken were your toys. life was simple & care free. but what I remember the most was wanting to grow up.. "

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

lookin like terminator

today morning I tried opening my eyes 'cause my mom was waking me up, & as I tried to open it, it wouldn't open -o- like it was stuck together, literally.. I thought nothing was wrong, so I just rubbed it really hard & it was like crusty, HAHAHA. I was like ew, I must've had lots of hard eyeboogers & so I go to my bathroom to get ready for school. Oh yeah, I woke up early for school today, too, super rare -_- So I was trynna get ready & I look in the mirror & my right eye bloodshot red, lame. it's annoying, feels swollen, & it keeps tearing up. therefore I did not go to school when for once I really wanted to go. hmph, I hope I don't have pink eye ):<



*it's even redder when I look up T-T

Thursday, May 21, 2009

something for me to think about

Me; Aren't you proud of my commitment ?
Friend; It's not your commitment, it's Arnold's commitment.

Ever since that " conversation ", I've been thinking & I think it's true. No, I know it's true. I'm always whining & complaining about stupid things & how I may want to end it or take a break.. Without his commitment there is no " Us "

Friday, April 24, 2009

actions speak louder than words

losing friends are so easy & making friends are so hard these days. it's like you lose friends for talking too much about how you feel & you make friends by doing things they like. hmm, I can't really explain it, but I know what I'm talking about so whatever. how can I " stay up " or " be strong " if the people saying that aren't even there to support me O_O; how can I believe " i'll always be here for you " if the people saying that has let me down when I was at my worst O_O; all this fake is spreading like wildfire.


*don't be scared to be yourself.. if people can't appreciate you, then stop wasting your time.
-don't be so insecure & live to please people.

*wanting ride or die type of friends.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

oh & karmas a bitch

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you can eventually learn to trust noone but yourself. & sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.- Marilyn Monroe.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

phunny,

so these day's I've been noticing that little kids think they're so smart & mature & so damn political. just quit it & GTFOUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT, LOLLL.

Monday, February 2, 2009

chloe jin said,

" Shut the fuck up, you don't know shit "